Welcome to our “First Steps” series, where we highlight remarkable journeys of individuals who have transformed their bodies, minds, and lives by taking those crucial first steps (because change begins with that initial move!). Explore all the inspiring stories here.
In this installment, rapper, songwriter, and author Russ, 32, shares his initial steps toward improving his mental health, which played a pivotal role in the creation of his acclaimed album, Santiago, and his second book, It Was You All Along.
MY FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH therapy occurred during a couples session. Entering a relationship often brings insecurities, triggers, and childhood traumas to the forefront. When you share your life with someone, they can act as a mirror, reflecting aspects of yourself that you may not like. I noticed how quickly I became condescending and emotionally defensive, which was troubling.
Initially, I thought, “Couples therapy? Isn’t that reserved for couples in crisis after two decades together?” I believed that if we needed therapy, our relationship was doomed. However, I didn’t want to lose what we had. So, in 2021, I decided to give it a shot. This experience opened my mind to therapy—engaging in discussions, self-reflection, and embracing humility. It’s fascinating how love can lead to self-discovery and inner work.
However, couples therapy primarily addresses the relationship dynamics without delving deeply into personal histories. When I began working with my therapist in 2022, I started to explore my past on a much deeper level. It was a transformative process.
That same year, I faced the loss of my childhood dog, who had been with me through my high school years and every home my family had in Georgia. Her passing hit me harder than I expected, sending my nervous system into chaos. Therapy helped me understand the profound impact of this loss. I experienced rapid success in my twenties, quickly transitioning into the role of family caretaker without properly processing my feelings. Losing my dog felt like losing a significant part of my childhood, and I struggled to cope alone.
Realizing I needed professional support, I reached out to Dr. Nicole LePera, who is both insightful and compassionate. She connected me with a therapist who specializes in working with successful men. I had always worried that a therapist might not understand the pressures of fame, but having someone who gets it has been incredibly beneficial.
First Steps: Cultivating Awareness, Humility, Hope, and Empathy
THE FIRST STEP IN managing my mental health was learning the value of pausing before reacting. This practice allowed me to observe my emotional responses more objectively. By taking a moment to converse with myself, I can engage in more composed and articulate discussions with others, effectively expressing my needs. It might sound simple, but it has truly transformed my interactions.
Therapy immediately instilled in me a sense of humility and hope. I discovered that it’s perfectly acceptable not to have all the answers. I had prided myself on having life figured out—having even written a book on it—but every session revealed new insights, leaving me more enlightened than before.
The lasting impact has been the development of empathy, something I had struggled with significantly. I often lacked compassion for myself, which made it difficult to extend it to others. Learning to care about my own experiences has made me more understanding of others, allowing me to empathize with those who may not always present their best selves. I recognize that everyone has their battles, just as I do.
Therapy and Masculinity
MY BROTHER FRANK is a certified personal trainer and nutritionist, effectively serving as both my trainer and chef. His influence has been significant for me. Beyond being my brother, his commitment to health made me see that personal transformation is achievable. At the start of 2022, feeling frustrated with myself, I made a decisive commitment. I meticulously tracked my food, drank a gallon of water daily, eliminated alcohol, and worked out with Frank every day. I lost 30 pounds in six months. Physically, I was in the best shape of my life, yet I still grappled with feelings of depression on emotional and spiritual levels.
At that moment, I realized the notion that “exercise alone can cure depression” was misleading.
You can’t simply lift weights to forget the painful memories from your childhood. For many men, seeking therapy can be seen as a challenge to their masculinity. I once believed that needing help was a sign of weakness. However, embarking on this therapeutic journey has reshaped my understanding of what it means to be a man.
My therapist pointed out that society often measures a man’s worth by his ability to handle everything solo. Questioning this belief in therapy can be challenging, but it opens doors to self-discovery and personal improvement.
Men frequently feel isolated, but it doesn’t have to be that way. There’s a pressing need for community and mentorship among us. I am now committed to building a supportive network of men who can engage in meaningful conversations.
My experiences in therapy have fueled my latest book and album, “It Was You All Along,” which explores themes of self-regulation and boundary-setting. While music allows me to articulate my thoughts, therapy is where the true transformative work occurs. Through therapeutic practices, I’ve found pathways to healing and growth.
I continue on my journey of self-exploration and personal development. Embracing uncertainty and welcoming a new version of myself is a daily endeavor. It’s perfectly fine not to have all the answers; by persistently working on myself, I am evolving into a better man. My upcoming album will reflect themes of stepping into the unknown with humility, optimism, and faith. I recognize that life will have its highs and lows, but I no longer feel compelled to anticipate the worst. It’s all part of the journey, and I genuinely believe that everything will ultimately fall into place.
